For many scapegoated adults, the difficult reality is that repair and reunion with their family simply isn’t possible. For some, it is a conscious choice to stay away from their toxic family system as attempting to re-integrate would result in further psycho-emotional injury. Others were unceremoniously ‘ejected’ from their family-of-origin when they began to assert boundaries or call out the abuse, making any type of reconciliation both undesirable and impossible.
New Vlog Release – and announcing a new series on YouTube on my new Beyond Family Scapegoating Abuse Channel, Subscriber Question of the Week: This week’s subscriber question is, “Why do I seem to find myself in the ‘scapegoat’ role wherever I go?”
“He says the best way out is always through. / And I can agree to that, or in so far / As that I can see no way out but through” -Robert Frost Just a quick heads up that I have recently uploaded two videos on my new FSA-focused YouTube channel (linked below). The Robert…
One of the things that keeps survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) stuck and unable to progress in their recovery is the fantasy that if they can say the ‘right’ thing to the ‘right’ person within (or connected to) their family-of-origin, the fact of their abuse will be acknowledged and validated. Tragically, this is unlikely to happen. But this does not change the truth of what happened to you, and your truth deserves to be both told and then heard and validated by people who have the capacity to care.
Recovering from the traumatizing aspects of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) is an individual process and each FSA adult survivor’s healing journey will be unique. But no matter the recovery route you take, you will want to first ensure you build a strong foundation for recovery by addressing symptoms of complex trauma (C-PTSD).
For the child victim of family scapegoating abuse (FSA), the ‘scapegoat story’ created by one or both parents (which the entire family invariably adapts and accepts unquestioningly) can negatively impact their mental and emotional health. When a parent is a malignant narcissist, the abuse the child experiences can be extreme, resulting in complex trauma (C-PTSD) symptoms secondary to grave psycho-emotional distress.
There are very few clients who enter my FSA Recovery Coaching practice who are not suffering from traumatic shame (also known as ‘toxic shame’), as well as a variety of complex trauma (C-PTSD) symptoms – something I discuss at length in my book, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed. While traumatic shame creates a sense of social isolation, complex trauma itself fragments us and leads to self-alienation, leaving the adult survivor of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) feeling intensely alone and unsupported.
This article was originally published on Psych Central as an advance preview of my book on family scapegoating abuse (FSA), Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed. To comply with current publishing requirements, I am no longer able to offer portions of my book for free online. Visit my blog to see more articles on family scapegoating and…
As we learn more about Complex Trauma (C-PTSD), it becomes increasingly clear that family scapegoating abuse (FSA) can lead to the development of C-PTSD symptoms, which are often misdiagnosed and mislabelled by Mental Health Professionals if and when the FSA adult survivor seeks therapeutic treatment and support.
As you consider how being the victim of family scapegoating abuse has changed your life, you may use the following suggestions and questions to guide you. Do be aware that thinking and writing about something so painful may be difficult for you. Pace yourself and don’t feel that you need to complete your FSA Victim Impact Statement in one sitting…
