Tag: family scapegoating abuse

Do Family Members Know When They Are Scapegoating You?

A question I am often asked by clients and readers of my book, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed, is whether or not family scapegoating abuse (FSA) is conscious and intentional or unconscious and unintentional. My answer is that it can be either or both, and that nothing is simple or black and white when it comes to this uniquely complex family system process.

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Family Scapegoating Abuse and Conflicting Family Narratives

Family scapegoating abuse (FSA) may be intentionally overlooked or rationalized by family members. The scapegoated child or adult will rarely get validation if they attempt to share their experiences of mistreatment or abuse. Siblings will frequently adopt the ‘scapegoat narrative’ promoted by the family system power-holder (typically a parent), causing the FSA victim to become isolated and cut off within their family-of-origin.

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Love at Any Price: Childhood Attachment and the Development of the False Self

This week’s article explores how the scapegoated child may unconsciously live as a ‘false self’ so as to experience a sense of attachment and belonging with their primary caregivers…

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DARVO and Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA): When the Abused Are Revictimized by Their Abuser

One of the more baffling and incomprehensible aspects of being scapegoated by family is being the target of mentally and emotionally abusive behaviors; reacting to the abuse appropriately (e.g., expressing hurt, confusion, anger, setting boundaries, etc), and then discovering that the person who committed the harmful or abusive acts views themselves as the victim – not the one they harmed.

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The Healing Power of a ‘Victim Impact Statement’ for FSA Survivors

As you consider how being the victim of family scapegoating abuse has changed your life, you may use the following suggestions and questions to guide you. Do be aware that thinking and writing about something so painful may be difficult for you. Pace yourself and don’t feel that you need to complete your FSA Victim Impact Statement in one sitting…

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When Your Family Invalidates Your Experiences of Abuse and Complex Trauma

It is difficult enough to bear the burden of traumatic childhood experiences and its long-term physical, emotional, and mental effects. For adult survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA), this difficulty is magnified by the fact that their reports of abuse or trauma are typically denied, dismissed, and invalidated by their family due to their being in the ‘identified patient’ role…

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10 Strategies for Navigating Holiday Family Gatherings as FSA Survivors

It is common to have high expectations when thinking of reuniting with family you haven’t seen for a long time. Alternatively, you might fear that your worst expectations will be realized if you get together with nuclear and/or extended family members for a holiday celebration.

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