1. 

   Laurianne

   August 30, 2023

   Rebecca, I am 75 years old and just read your amazing book. I have spent my lifetime in a state of confusion, isolation, self-doubt and grief, sensing something was horribly wrong in my family, but having been taught that the only thing wrong was ‘me’. I believed it firmly, yet still felt there had to be another answer. I have been searching for that answer all my adult life.

   I found your book accidentally and after reading several readings, and many tears of sorrow and joy, I know I have found the answer. Scapegoating, gaslighting, neglect and rejection.

   I have also been studying narcissism, and I am almost 100% certain both my parents were narcissists, but with different traits – one overt and the other covert. My 2 siblings took on narcissistic traits as well. I have been outnumbered all my life, trying desperately to rise out of the sinkhole of their abuse.

   I know there is no cure for C-PTSD, and I’m no longer young, yet I deeply hunger for a few years of emotional wellness. Your book has provided clarity, and compassion, and should be in every counselor’s bookshelf and every library.

   Finally, Rebecca, please research the dilemma of seniors who have spent their lives believing they have always been worthless and could not rely on their families for love and support. Seniors are largely ignored now, in all parts of society, while most research focuses on younger people who still have much to offer. But seniors have their stories, and it would be so wonderful to be able to find some peace while giving valuable insight into this important subject. We have lived it, still live it, and will never be able to completely leave it behind until we are gone.

   Thank you for all you have done and will yet do.

   Laurianne

   Reply
2. 

   Stacey W

   July 15, 2023

   Hi Rebecca: something I would love to read in your upcoming book is how divorcing your family of origin is really the last societal taboo. We have largely come to accept that there are marriages, friendships, work relationships, etc. that are much better ended for the wellbeing of one or both parties, but there is much less social support and understanding for those of us who need to terminate relationships with destructive people with whom we happen to share DNA. It is almost a kind of collective madness, as though we believe these same people we can see are destructive as spouses, bosses, friends, and coworkers are magically transformed into better, more functional people by procreating or becoming siblings. Your help to broadcast the message that **ALL** relationships are earned and none are compulsory once we’ve reached the age of consent would be greatly appreciated.

   Hope this message finds you well and happy!

   Stacey W

   Reply
   1. 

      Rebecca C. Mandeville, MA

      July 20, 2023

      Hi Stacey, I do envision covering this in my book. I love the way you describe this aspect of family scapegoating abuse. Thank you for your comment and suggestion. Much appreciated.

      Reply

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