family scapegoating abuse youtube videos

3 Bizarre Realities Adult Survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse Experience

Announcement: I will not be able to write new blog articles for the foreseeable future; however, I am recording videos about my research and clinical experience regarding what I named family scapegoating abuse (FSA) on my new Beyond Family Scapegoating Abuse YouTube channel. I hope to see you there (you may subscribe to be alerted to my video offerings).

This week was a most challenging one, and writing a new article just wasn’t possible. However, I did have time to record a second fifteen minute video for my new ‘FSA Education’ channel on YouTube that I hope you will take the time to watch as time and space allows.

Regarding this video (link available below): This is the first video in a new series in which I describe the truly bizarre realities that adult survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) experience, as revealed in my FSA research and clinical practice. Sadly, as one YouTube subscriber said in a comment, these “bizarre” realities are typical experiences for the FSA adult survivor.

I’ve had so many clients and newsletter / blog subscribers tell me that they are strangely amazed and relieved to discover that they are not the only ones experiencing the types of incomprehensible realities they are exposed to regularly as the target of family scapegoating behaviors – realities that are well-documented in my FSA research, as well as reports from clients in my FSA Recovery Coaching practice.

In next week’s video, I will tell you WHY these sorts of bizarre scenarios can happen in a dysfunctional or narcissistic family system that scapegoats one of their own, so I hope you will consider subscribing (tap the bell to be alerted to my latest video offerings).

Have any of the mind-bending (and painful) realities described in this video happened to you? If so, I’d love to hear from you in the comments! You can support my new YouTube channel created specifically for FSA adult survivors by subscribing and then ‘liking’ this video.


6 comments / Add your comment below

  1. 100% to 1, 3 and 2 is familiar with some twists. Notable to me was that although I’m breaking ties and getting healthier, in middle age, I still now wouldn’t have considered any of these realities “bizarre” unless the adjective was there. They’re just typical. I only understand it’s unhealthy because I’m learning that now. It’s really hard to comprehend what healthy people on the other side of the wall, so to speak, see and understand.

  2. Your blog and videos are very appreciated. I am accomplished in many ways plus have advanced degrees; experienced #1 and #3 whole life. Can’t say they sided with my emotionally and physically abusive ex husband, but in retrospect I’m sure it was because of the dysfunction/disregard/dismissal by family that I fell into that relationship (at age 30). (25) Years later though, when trigger event/betrayal trauma happened with family and then they gaslighted and silent treatmented me, it registered for what it was, abuse. And thus began quest (about 6 yrs ago) to understand why, why, why, what’s wrong with me that my family would reject and treat me like this! Tonight, thanks to you, I understand concept of toxic shame better, that I have it and why, and can/did release it back where it belongs!!

    1. YES!!! You made my night, Tamara. I encourage you to read my book, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed, as well as my free FSA blog articles here. I have a chapter in my book specifically on betrayal trauma and one on toxic shame as related to FSA, among other things. Thank you for writing!

  3. I watched your video Rebecca and hope to share it with others. The first bizarre behavior is exactly been my experience as well and that of my brother. He described it as an omission of personhood and conversations. Like it didn’t happen and now thankfully after learning so much about the narcissistic brain it finally makes sense. I felt as rejected as could be humanly possible and it nearly destroyed my spirit. I am healing from it now and am so very grateful for your work and others on the way this disease as I call it, has manifested in twisting my own brain trying to understand. Ouch. These bizarre behaviors are dangerous. The education I have received has given me insight and tools to overcome it. Quite the process and for a long time I felt isolated in my recovery but not anymore. Thank you!

    1. Good to hear, Diana, sounds like you are on your way – and hopefully your brother as well. Some of us are so gaslighted that we begin to gaslight ourselves and lose touch with our felt-sense reality. The dehumanizing aspects of both narcissistic abuse and family scapegoating abuse – and the damage and trauma this can cause – cannot be underestimated. We must indeed claim our right to be treated as human beings and not as some kind of human projection screens – objectified, voiceless, and blank.

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