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Ten Affirmations for Adult Survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse

AFFIRMATIONS family scapegoating abuse fsa

One of the greatest challenges faced by adult survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) is the tendency to ruminate over past painful incidents with family or be consumed by feelings of low self-worth, shame, anger, or grief. I therefore decided to create my first video volume of affirmations to help FSA adult survivors ‘reset’ habitual ways of thinking and feeling that can develop in conjunction with complex trauma symptoms.

I’ve just returned from a ‘stay-cation’ and have many ideas for new articles on FSA, which I look forward to sharing with you soon. I was excited to discover that nearly 100 people have already subscribed to my new FSA Education YouTube channel. It occurred to me that this channel provides me with an opportunity to create various types of online resources to support FSA adult survivors in their recovery. I’m therefore pleased to share this first volume of Affirmations for FSA Adult Survivors.

Affirmations can be an effective means of empowering adult survivors of childhood trauma by helping them focus in on what will most aid them in their recovery, as well as serving as inspiration to help them develop behaviors and thought patterns that assist them at the highest level.

These first ten affirmations are a product of my academic research on family scapegoating abuse, as well as what I’ve learned from treating FSA adult survivors in my psychotherapy and coaching practices for over 20 years. They are also informed by my own personal experience of being in the ‘scapegoat’ role in my family-of-origin since early childhood. If this affirmations video resonates with you, I encourage you to use it daily to support your recovery efforts and/or when you are feeling emotionally dysregulated.

Affirmations can at first feel difficult for abuse survivors, but they are a powerful means of transforming the types of negative thoughts that many FSA adult survivors struggle with due to their history of family abuse and betrayal. If you are unable to “buy into” or believe a particular affirmation included in this video, skip it for now and focus on the ones that you feel willing and able to work on.

Warning: If you feel an increased sense of emotional dysregulation after trying out these affirmations, set them aside for now, and perhaps revisit them at a later date.


If you find these affirmations helpful, please ‘like’ the video on YouTube and consider sharing it with others who are seeking to recover from the trauma of FSA. To be alerted to my latest videos, subscribe to my channel and tap the bell to be notified of my latest YouTube offerings.

4 thoughts on “Ten Affirmations for Adult Survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse”

  1. Mary Lou

    Thank you for writing rejected Shamed blamed. I purchased kindle edition a year ago. This book is a good reference to review when the scapegoat is being lured back into the challenging environment. It’s always ready to read at anytime on phone, tablet and computer. It’s a 24/7 guidance manual anytime my compass starts to point in the wrong direction. ❤️❤️❤️

    1. Rebecca C. Mandeville, LMFT, CCTP

      You are most welcome, Mary Lou. I appreciate your letting me know that my book has been so helpful for you, and I love that you are using the Kindle version for further ongoing support. In case you didn’t yet see my new FSA Recovery affirmations on YouTube, I am including them here. I plan to do more videos like this so I hope you will subscribe to my channel and share it with others you know who may benefit from it:

  2. Moira

    Reading the FSA book and on-line resources provoked days of deep reflection for me. I wrote notes on what I thought about. My reflection on the notes, which I had headlined as Examples of FSA was that they were not examples of FSA. They were evidence that I am the family empath. This is an idea that amazes me. I’ve never thought I was any kind of empath. But now I’m convinced I’m the family empath. It was amazing. Incident after incident of me being the family empath just popped into my mind. And none of the incidents were ever recognised or acknowledged by anyone in the family.

    My parents never said anything as terrible as, “My life would have been much better if you had not been born”. But there was an underground negative attitude to me.

    The FSA material has been very helpful to me. It’s had a dramatic impact on how I view myself. I am alienated from my surviving siblings but I feel I understand why now and I am not burdened or distressed by that.

    Thank you.

    1. Rebecca C. Mandeville, LMFT, CCTP

      Your comment is sure to help others, Moira. My research on FSA does support your own conclusions. The scapegoated child is not *always* the family empath, but this is often indeed the case. Glad you were able to take time to reflect on this and come to new awarenesses that are helpful in your recovery.

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