5 Myths About Family Scapegoating and Recovery

5 Myths About Family Scapegoating and Recovery

5 myths that adult survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) need to know: It has been my experience, after assisting FSA adult survivors in their recovery for the past twenty years, that the five myths I’ve identified and am highlighting here in my latest video can impede one’s full healing from this most painful form of family abuse.

The Fantasy “Repair” Experience of the FSA Adult Survivor

The Fantasy “Repair” Experience of the FSA Adult Survivor

One of the things that keeps survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) stuck and unable to progress in their recovery is the fantasy that if they can say the ‘right’ thing to the ‘right’ person within (or connected to) their family-of-origin, the fact of their abuse will be acknowledged and validated. Tragically, this is unlikely to happen. But this does not change the truth of what happened to you, and your truth deserves to be both told and then heard and validated by people who have the capacity to care.

Family Scapegoating Abuse, Complex Trauma, and Structural Dissociation

Family Scapegoating Abuse, Complex Trauma, and Structural Dissociation

When FSA adult survivors are chronically traumatized within their family-of-origin, they can develop a form of dissociation known as structural dissociation, whereby the personality lacks integration and expresses itself through ‘parts’. But it is never too late to experience your innate wholeness…

The Relationship Between Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) and Traumatic Shame

The Relationship Between Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) and Traumatic Shame

There are very few clients who enter my FSA Recovery Coaching practice who are not suffering from traumatic shame (also known as ‘toxic shame’), as well as a variety of complex trauma (C-PTSD) symptoms – something I discuss at length in my book, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed. While traumatic shame creates a sense of social isolation, complex trauma itself fragments us and leads to self-alienation, leaving the adult survivor of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) feeling intensely alone and unsupported.

Learn To Be Done.

Learn To Be Done.

One of the most common phrases I have heard from clients over the past 20 years practicing as a licensed Psychotherapist and certified trauma-informed Coach is, “I’m done!” “I’m done” can mean many things. Therefore, my first question is always, “What are you done with?” Are you done with fawning and submitting as a means…

The Healing Power of a ‘Victim Impact Statement’ for FSA Survivors

The Healing Power of a ‘Victim Impact Statement’ for FSA Survivors

As you consider how being the victim of family scapegoating abuse has changed your life, you may use the following suggestions and questions to guide you. Do be aware that thinking and writing about something so painful may be difficult for you. Pace yourself and don’t feel that you need to complete your FSA Victim Impact Statement in one sitting…

When Your Family Invalidates Your Experiences of Abuse and Complex Trauma

When Your Family Invalidates Your Experiences of Abuse and Complex Trauma

It is difficult enough to bear the burden of traumatic childhood experiences and its long-term physical, emotional, and mental effects. For adult survivors of family scapegoating abuse (FSA), this difficulty is magnified by the fact that their reports of abuse or trauma are typically denied, dismissed, and invalidated by their family due to their being in the ‘identified patient’ role…

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