Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed: The Book


You may not be able to stop people in your family from scapegoating you, but you can stop identifying with the ‘scapegoat story’ and the dysfunctional and damaging family narrative.

Rebecca C. Mandeville, MFT
My introductory psycho-educational guide, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed: Help and Hope for Adults in the Family Scapegoat Role, is informed by my research on what I named family scapegoating abuse (FSA) while serving as Core Faculty at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, and by over 20 years experience working with scapegoated adult survivors in clinical and private practice settings.

This is an excellent book for patients or practitioners. The author shares her extensive experience working with and studying toxic families and how to recover from the experience. This book is a must have for anyone treating those from dysfunctional families or family members themselves.

– Melissa Petty, LMSW

Scroll down to see Book Description

Available on Amazon in both Kindle and Paperback formats. You can also purchase it at these online Book Retailers


I finally know the core of my problem – the relation between scapegoating and trauma is key, too.

– Amazon Reviewer


To recover from something, we need to understand what we are recovering from. This introductory guide written by a licensed Psychotherapist explores the phenomenon of family scapegoating abuse (FSA) while offering psycho-educational support and validation to those suffering in the ‘family scapegoat’ role. Please Note: This is not a ‘recovery workbook’. This is a psycho-educational guide that addresses a poorly understood, under-researched form of dysfunctional family abuse.[Revised with updated links and resources September, 2021].

In Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed, Psychotherapist and recognized Family Systems expert Rebecca C. Mandeville clearly identifies family scapegoating as an egregious form of systemic psycho-emotional abuse while providing a means of understanding why ‘toxic’ families reject, shame, and blame one of their own. The importance of being assessed for complex trauma (C-PTSD) symptoms and engaging in trauma-informed recovery pathways is also explored.
In these pages you’ll discover:

  • How to recognize and identify family scapegoating abuse (FSA) signs and symptoms
  • Why scapegoated individuals have difficulty recognizing they are being abused
  • How complex trauma (C-PTSD)betrayal trauma, and toxic shame impede FSA recovery
  • How intergenerational trauma and false narratives contribute to family scapegoating dynamics
  • Why the family ‘Empath’ can end up scapegoated
  • Steps to reduce fawning behaviors and recover and realign with your ‘true self’

An FSA Self-Assessment is included in this guide but should not be used for diagnostic purposes. Clinicians and Coaches may also find this introductory book helpful. Please read the ‘Afterword’ and ‘Resource’ sections for more information on recovering from FSA.

Rebecca C. Mandeville is a Childhood Trauma-specialized Psychotherapist, Recovery Coach, Educator, and Author. Shecoined the term family scapegoating abuse (FSA)while researching family scapegoating’s impact on the targeted child / adult child while Core Faculty at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. She is also a pioneer in identifying the overlapping symptoms of family scapegoating abuse (FSA)complex trauma (C-PTSD)betrayal trauma, and the devastating impact and effects of multigenerational trauma on adult survivors of dysfunctional, narcissistic, or abusive family systems.

Those who like to read books written by licensed Mental Health professionals that address healing from the effects of Dysfunctional or Toxic Families; Narcissistic Abuse; Narcissistic Families; Gaslighting; Toxic Relationships and Going ‘No Contact’; Complex Trauma (C-PTSD); Dysfunctional Family Dynamics; Multigenerational Trauma; Empaths; (the) Highly Sensitive Person (HSP); Child Abuse; Bullying; and Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and Toxic Family Abuse may especially appreciate this book.

©2020 Rebecca C. Mandeville All Rights Reserved

Editorial Review (excerpt):

This book serves an important niche within Family Systems literature, as it was written for those who were assigned the role of ‘family scapegoat’ within their dysfunctional family system.  It adeptly addresses with specificity the abuses and emotional injuries scapegoated adults experience, which are distinct, and often more damaging than those associated with other dysfunctional family roles.

– Lisa Marie Campagnoli, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, RYT-200


My book on what I named Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) is available in both Kindle and Paperback formats on Amazon. You can also purchase it at these online Book Retailers.

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