To heal from any type of abuse, we must understand what we are trying to recover from…

Rebecca C. Mandeville, researcher and author of Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed

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It is a myth that scapegoating in families is always overt and obvious. While scapegoating at times includes ‘family mobbing’ and ‘gang bullying’, it more often is systemic, insidious and subtle. To make matters even more challenging, children in families that scapegoat are often conditioned to tolerate this form of ‘invisible’ (psycho-emotional) abuse, making this an extremely difficult form of abuse for adult survivors to recognize and recover from.

Are You Suffering From Family Scapegoating Abuse? Take the FSA Questionnaire to find out…

Keep track of how many questions you answer YES to and add them up at the end.

Introduction: The Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) Questionnaire is based on my original Family Systems research on family dynamics promoting scapegoating and ‘invisible’ (psycho-emotional) abuse. This questionnaire aims to assess the presence and impact of scapegoating within family systems.

Scapegoating occurs when one family member is unjustly blamed, criticized, or targeted for negative treatment by other family members. The consequences of scapegoating can be severe and may lead to emotional, psychological, and relational difficulties for the individual targeted.

The questionnaire consists of a series of statements related to family dynamics and interactions. Participants are asked to indicate the extent to which each statement applies to their own family experiences.

Instructions: Please read each statement carefully and indicate the extent to which it applies to your own family experiences by selecting the appropriate response.

This questionnaire is based on original research conducted by Rebecca C. Mandeville, a world renowned expert in dysfunctional Family System dynamics and ‘invisible’ (psycho-emotional) family abuse. The questions in this brief self-assessment are designed to assess the presence and effects of scapegoating within family systems and should not be used for diagnostic purposes. The FSA Questionnaire is copyrighted material and may not be printed, distributed, copied, or otherwise used without the author’s permission.

Take the FSA Questionnaire:

1. Family members often blame me for problems that are not my fault.
   • Yes / No
2. I am frequently criticized or singled out by family members.
   • Yes / No
3. Family members often treat me unfairly compared to others.
   • Yes / No
4. I feel like I am the “black sheep” of my family.
   • Yes / No
5. My opinions and feelings are often dismissed or invalidated by family members.
   • Yes / No
6. Family members frequently gang up against me or exclude me from family activities.
   • Yes / No
7. I often feel like I am walking on eggshells around my family.
   • Yes / No
8. Family members often make hurtful or derogatory remarks about me to my face or behind my back.
   • Yes / No
9. I am often made to feel responsible for the problems or conflicts within my family.
   • Yes / No
10. I have experienced emotional or psychological distress as a result of interactions with my family.
    • Yes / No
11. My family tends to ignore or minimize my achievements or successes.
    • Yes / No
12. I feel like I am always the target of family members’ anger or frustration.
    • Yes / No
13. Family members often gaslight me, making me doubt my own perceptions and experiences.
    • Yes / No
14. I feel isolated or alienated from other family members due to the scapegoating.
    • Yes / No
15. The scapegoating has affected my self-esteem and self-worth.
    • Yes / No
16. I have experienced physical harm or violence as a result of family scapegoating.
    • Yes / No
17. The scapegoating has impacted my relationships outside of the family.
    • Yes / No
18. I often feel anxious or fearful around family members because of past scapegoating incidents.
    • Yes / No
19. The scapegoating has contributed to feelings of depression or hopelessness.
    • Yes / No
20. I have attempted to confront or address the scapegoating within my family, but it has been met with resistance or denial.
    • Yes / No
21. The scapegoating has affected my ability to trust others or form healthy relationships.
    • Yes / No
22. I have sought therapy or professional help to cope with the effects of family scapegoating.
    • Yes / No
23. I often feel powerless or trapped within my family dynamic due to the scapegoating.
    • Yes / No
24. The scapegoating has interfered with my academic or career aspirations.
    • Yes / No
25. I have been called “crazy,” “mentally ill,” “emotionally stable” by family members (either to my face or behind my back).
    • Yes / No

The above questions aim to delve deeper into the various ways in which family scapegoating abuse can impact the victim’s emotional well-being, relationships, and overall life experiences. Review your YES answers. The questions you answered ‘Yes’ to indicates areas in which you may have experienced Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) as a child or adult child. The more questions you answered “Yes” to, the more likely it is that FSA has negatively impacted your life.

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“I answered ‘Yes’ to many of the questions. What do I do now?”

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Steps You Can Take TODAY to Begin Recovering From FSA

Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) is real. Until recently, adult survivors of FSA had no language, including terms, to express the phenomenon they were experiencing in their families. My research on what I eventually named family scapegoating abuse (FSA), which formed the basis of my introductory book on this often insidious and subtle form of family abuse, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed, at last legitimatized the experiences of FSA adult survivors around the world.

To get started with your FSA recovery today, you have a few options:

1. Purchase my introductory book on FSA to better understand what may have happened to you in your dysfunctional (or narcissistic) family system (use the Universal Buy Link, below, to access Amazon, B & N, and other online retailers, as well as book subscription services).
2. Join my (paid) online ‘Circles’ community, FSA Education Community (On Circle) to connect with other FSA adult survivors in a private setting. Start with the basic ‘Community Connections’ membership or upgrade to our monthly Book Discussion subscription to take a ‘deep dive’ into my book, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed. This newly launched community will also be a place where I’ll host special events, such as guest speakers and online summits and retreats. (Link to join, below).
3. Use this Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) Recovery Worksheet to ‘jump-start’ your healing from FSA.
4. Not in a position to make a financial investment in your FSA Recovery at this time? Check out my FSA Adult Survivor Resource Page for addition FSA adult survivor resources.

What People Are Saying About ‘Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed’

“As a clinical social worker, I enthusiastically recommend this book!” – Amazon reviewer

“Very good book on an oft-misunderstood family dynamic.” – Amazon reviewer

“Life-changing read!” – Amazon Customer

“If you think or know you’ve suffered/are suffering from Family Scapegoat Abuse, run – don’t walk – to the add to cart button. This book is clear & concise & informative & ACCURATE…I felt like the author completely described my life. After reading this, I feel understood…and empowered to heal and finally kick this scapegoat role to the curb. I wish anyone else who has dealt with this a life free from such a painful, pervasive issue. I am certain you’ll find this book extremely helpful.”
Much gratitude to the author :) – Amazon Customer

“Your book offers healing that I thought would never be possible! “- YouTube Subscriber

“My psychologist gave me your book to read. I finally could understand what happened to me in my family and now know what to do to recover from it. Your book literally saved my life!” – YouTube Subscriber

“Finally, a book written by a licensed clinician who has worked as a Family Therapist. Your insights on dysfunctional families that scapegoat are invaluable! ” – YouTube Subscriber

This is an excellent book for patients or practitioners. The author shares her extensive experience working with and studying toxic families and how to recover from the experience. This book is a must have for anyone treating those from dysfunctional families or family members themselves.– Melissa Petty, LMSW