One of the most common phrases I have heard from clients over the past 20 years practicing as a licensed Psychotherapist and certified trauma-informed Coach is, “I’m done!”
“I’m done” can mean many things. Therefore, my first question is always, “What are you done with?”
Are you done with fawning and submitting as a means of avoiding conflict? Are you done with being told you’re “too sensitive” when you attempt to convey to someone how they have harmed you via their actions or words? Are you done with being called “crazy,” “mentally ill,” “emotionally sick,” or a “liar” when you call people out on their egregious behaviors?
Are you done with being victimized by outrageous “smear campaigns” designed to defame you or distort your character? Are you done with becoming small, stuffing down your truth, and/or swallowing your “righteous rage” over the injustices done to you? Are you done avoiding standing up for yourself because you fear retribution or retaliation, even though you were the one who was wronged?
If you said “yes” to any or all of the above, congratulations. You are on your way to recovering from family scapegoating abuse (FSA) and reclaiming your innate wholeness. And therein you will know peace.
What are you done with? I’d love to hear from you in the comments, below. You can also share via a comment on my pinned post on my Twitter Feed. Be sure to include the hashtag #DoneWithFSA.
Rebecca C. Mandeville is a licensed psychotherapist; certified clinical trauma professional; and recognized family systems expert. Her book, Rejected, Shamed, and Blamed, is the first book written on “family scapegoating abuse” or “FSA” (a term she coined during the course of her family systems research). Rebecca has dedicated her 20-year career in Mental Health to advocating for those whose voices are not heard due to being systemically disempowered.